I have been trying to examine why I feel so incensed by the calls for sympathy for David Laws. Journalists, politicians, various bloggers and an editorial in today's Observer, insist that we feel some sympathy for this man who claims he cheated on his MP's expenses because he was too scared to come out of the closet.
I have been in the closet, I know it can be terrifying. It's a close, suffocating place, filled with fear of both imaginary and real horrors. You imagine an ex-lover breaking your mother's heart by sending her photographs of the two of you in a casual embrace. You fantasise about your best friend shutting her front door in your face after she realises you have been lying to her for years. You visualise work colleagues scurrying for the exits every time you walk into the bathroom. Whenever someone asks "How was your weekend?" or "What did you do for your birthday?" you flinch before muttering one of several previously prepared evasive, dismissive answers.
Sometimes, tired of all the deception and "privacy", you think about coming out. You envy the freedom enjoyed by your (seemingly) heterosexual friends and colleagues. They share anecdotes and cute little stories about their loved ones. They expresses their crushes and desires, endlessly droning on about Colin Firth or Russell Crowe. They talk freely about their holidays or refurbishments to their homes. They don't have to pretend to have separate bedrooms. How much closer to people would you be if you didn't have to hide so much of your life? How much easier would it be to escape the isolation?
But then you look at all those out queers and you see so many of them struggling. Because you're closeted you hear the homophobic remarks that follow behind them. You see the looks secretly exchanged by the homophobes when some queen sashays by. You hear stories about people being ostracised by their families, about people being attacked, beaten up - killed! The closet might be a horribly suffocating, painfully isolating, terribly cold and dreary place, but at least it's safe. It's safe and most of the time it's comfortable. "Anyway", you say to yourself, "there's something slightly delicious about having a secret lover". The two of you don't need anyone else. You enjoy each other immensely, alone in your little bubble, why mess that all up by telling people about it? Stay safe, stay comfortable.
I imagine that the closet is much more comfortable for someone like David Laws than it was for me. As a black woman from a council estate in South London one could argue that I had a lot less to lose. I was already missing out on the privileges that come with being male, being white, being wealthy, why not abandon the heterosexual privileges as well? You see, because as well as being stifling, the closet is a place you remain to maintain your privileges. Which is all well and good for a private citizen, but for someone in political office it's completely unacceptable.
By hiding his homosexuality David Laws was sending the message that he understood, (subconsciously at least), that sexuality is more than just a private matter. He's saying he knows that by coming out people put themselves at risk and, to a certain extent, become second class citizens in this country. He's saying he understands that there are very real economic, social and health inequalities brought about through capitalism, and these inequalities are disproportionately experienced by queers. He saying he understands these inequalities have a substantial impact on well being of millions of LGBT people worldwide. By extension, he's saying he understands that the proposed age of austerity will disproportionately affect queers because they are queer. He's saying he understands that if queers are going to be disproportionately affected, then so are women, people from black Asian and minority ethnic communities, people living with disabilities and the working class. By staying in the closet he's saying he understand all that, but he doesn't give a shit.
Well, Fuck Him. He's basically a HUGE fucking hypocrite. I understand the pain and discomfort of being dragged out of the closet. However, his desire for wealth and political power in a neo-liberal government hell-bent on destroying public services means he can get stuffed. If he wants to be part of a government that insists there needs to be inequality, then he deserves to experience the sharp end of that inequality like so many queers already do. Go straight to the back benches, Do Not Pass Go and count yourself lucky you ain't sleeping on the streets tonight.
